One hundred and forty-one days ago, I interrupted a destructive process happening to and within my life.

Alcohol was slowly, sneakily, seditiously, and surely undermining and dismantling the components of my life.

Oh no, it wasn’t!

Oh yes, you were!

  • Health
  • Relationships
  • Work
  • Dreams and ambitions
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Financial stability
  • A N Other

I like the metaphor of a snowball.

Many years ago, when I first stepped onto the platform of drinking alcohol, it was like a tiny walnut-sized snowball rolling over the side of a snowy mountain.

I noticed it but wasn’t worried.

It didn’t look like a problem; even if it was, it was small enough to flick away using only thumb and forefinger.

Time moved on, and so did my snowball.

When I next noticed, it was the size of a tennis ball.

I credited its increased size to my older status in life and the resources, interests, and decisions that go hand in hand with maturing. Nice.

It still did not look like a problem; besides, I could still flick it out the way if I chose – peace of mind.

My tennis ball-sized snowball continued to roll down the mountain and picked up momentum.

It became a football.

It was annoyingly bumping into things in my life and causing damage.

It was still not a problem, or so I thought.

True, I could no longer flick it out of the way, but if push came to shove, I could always kick it.

I was making a colossal error.

I believed I was still in control, calling the shots (pun intended), and that the shape of my life reflected my decisions and my choices.

I should have realized that this snowball was under its own momentum now.

Alcohol and its pernicious mechanics were firmly in the driving seat.

I should have noticed the graph line showing exponential growth.

To fully explain the phenomena of this scenario would take a whole book, and many exist. 

Many strands and components go into making the alcohol trap the incredible thing it is.

I have friends whose snowballs got to the size of houses before they could begin reversing out of the trap, by which time their snowballs had destroyed everything in their paths, and the power needed to stop the avalanches was enormous. Super-human.

Mine got to the size of a giant snowman before I began to deal with it.

I could no longer kick it out of my life.

It needed deconstructing, which I have been doing for the last 141 days, and I am continuing to do it, as it is an on-going process.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank God for helping me in this endeavour.

I am really in a good place now.

So much has changed.

I note fundamental life-changing differences in my abilities to think and manage stress and anxiety.

I am learning so much about so much.

I am curious, present, and engaged.

I am enjoying life.