I am in a strange phase within my recovery process, and expect to sojourn here for a while.
I am doing well. I occupy a good place.
I believe that I am mostly ‘out’ of the alcohol trap.
Mmm? Caution!
Mostly out means partially still ‘in’. Right?
Careful Duncan.
I feel comfortable and do not have anything precise or substantial to fight, or push against, today.
Mmm? Caution!
The following saying comes to mind: ‘Resting on my laurels’ which Google defines as: “being satisfied with past success and doing nothing to achieve further success”.
There is a fine line between allowing myself repose/peace and getting cocky.
I need to achieve the former and avoid the latter.
No laurels for me!
I will ensure I spend some time today checking in with some sober reading material/blogs. I will feed the machine.
I would like to conclude today’s post by sharing a beautiful God-moment, which happened today, and which has given me an encouraging lift.
In May 2014, I entered Hay on Wye after completing a two day hike, exhausted.
In the middle of the street, there was a curious fellow sitting at a table with a typewriter. His sign advertised his services as “Poet for hire”.
I hired him.
He composed and typed me a bespoke piece of poetry.
It was cool.
I put it in a book, for safe-keeping, and promptly forgot all about it for eight years.
This morning I bumped the book, and the poem fell out.
I read it.
It is on point for where I am and what I am feeling today.
Here it is:
Dragging Myself Back Onto The Straight And Narrow
”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””
I’ve been clambering, up tracks,
And round tortuous corners,
Over stiles, between hedges,
Clinging on with nothing to cling to,
Apart from a vision of not having
Fallen, after all.
My back wracked, my legs weak and shaky,
I emerged, onto tarmac,
Stretched ahead like a smooth slab,
Of relief.
Striding now, progress good.
Glad to have been there.
Glad to be.
As a man of faith I expect God to speak to me often.
Did God prompt me, eight years ago, to commission that poet so that today, he could produce the poem and use it to remind me of some comforting truths?
I would not be surprised. God is also very cool.
I am grateful