The first thing I think of as I wake up: What number day is this?
The second thing is: Oh my gosh! This is really happening! It’s like Christmas day every morning.
This sober life is the gift that keeps on giving. Thank you! Thank you!
I don’t want to get complacent.
I make my coffee; I sit myself down with my books and journal; it’s time to check in with the wider sober community and let their wisdom ebb into my consciousness. My mind is open to learning new things and also being reminded of that which I may have forgotten.
It is also a time to check in with myself. What am I thinking and feeling? What is my plan for the day? What needs doing?
I feel delicate. Sluggish. Energy is low. I’m tired despite sleeping for 10 hours! I want to be lazy and not leave the sofa much.
I check my diary and put a list together of things that absolutely MUST be done today. Good, the list is short. I can push things into the next day (Most unlike me!)
I plan to eat yummy food today. No watching the calories.
A question surfaces:
What is the difference between self-care and self-indulgence?
Self-indulgence: “…doing exactly what one wants, especially when this involves pleasure or idleness”
Self-care: “…taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health … well-being..”
So I would say that self-indulgence is ok so long as it does not conflict with self-care.
Example: Chocolate biscuits are usually a no (Because I want to lose weight), but on this ‘day 6’ when I need to feel a little lifted, my well-being might win out. The same goes for not going to the gym, or doing the hoovering, or tidying the garden etc.
So long as the life-important things don’t suffer (like losing my job), I reckon I can relax my usual rules.
My usual rules are there to serve a whole load of targets and goals I have in mind (weight loss, fitness, financial security, the well-being of my loved ones, being true to my word etc).
The best thing I can do to achieve those targets is to escape the alcohol trap. Without alcohol in the mix, my efforts will get turbo boosted.
No drinking is my top, top priority today. It is likely to remain so whilst I figure out and establish myself in this new life/ new world.
All battles are reduced to one. With laser focus, my attention is on alcohol.
Live in the present today. Know my foe. Care for me. (Also .. remain grateful, drink loads of water, avoid overwhelm, and be kind to me. YAY!!)