Day 66 – Head space

Removing alcohol from the equation turns out to be the tip of the iceberg, in a good way.

In the early days, my newly hard-won sobriety immediately headlined my thoughts.

It took the front page and centre stage in the celebrations that exploded into my head space.

Freedom from chains of domination and destruction.

I was ecstatic.

Quite rightly so.

I plan to be mindful of this escape and commemorate it for the rest of my life.

(A much longer life now!)

It is Day 66. The initial euphoria is gentling down to a moderate Joi de Vivre and revealing the arrival of the new green shoots of everyday life.

They are clues to my future.

My new self is taking shape slowly and surely.

All decisions have consequences, and ceasing to numb my brain and poison my body seem no exception.

If I were a tree, one might notice the bloom of Spring among my branches as the season’s first fruits begin to appear.

I am not 100% sure what these fruits are yet.

They are too embryonic. Mere buds of promise.

I am excited.

I sense the changes more than I can measure or define them.

I am not in Kansas anymore, that’s for sure. (Wizard of Oz ref; I have nothing against that US state).

The construct of my late prison was not physical.

I am most fortunate that I hadn’t sufficiently descended the road to ruin to have developed a physical dependency upon the alcohol drug.

No. It was mental.

My jailer was many lies that had wormed their way into my thoughts and darkened my understanding.

Ignorance and blindness were the bricks of the cell which held me captive.

My mind was pivotal in my incarceration.

It is no surprise to note its role in my incarnation.

Here are some musings about which ingredients might help to create a better version of me and a fuller future life:

How important are my mind, thoughts, and mental stances in its development?

Learning is ever a process to invest in. Be curious. Ask questions.
Evolution is essential. One either moves forward or backward (there is no static stance)
Don’t be tempted to think I have made it, and take my foot off the pedal. Life is continuous. (Similar to #2, there is either life or death).
Like the universe, my life needs to expand. To do this, I must embrace challenges, be brave and not be lazy. (Similar to #2 & #3, life either grows or shrinks).

When my children were young, they were very fond of asking the following question:

“If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?”

I could never settle upon a good enough answer until now.

With the above list in mind and all the other lessons I have yet to discern, I think the following superpowers would serve me best:

Life is much bigger than I realized, much better than I hoped, and so much more available than it was 66 days ago!

I end with a quote from Ephesians.

TOP TIP:

“..Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old person which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts,

and be renewed in the spirit of your mind,

and that you put on the new person which was created according to God..”

I am grateful for second chances

(and also 1000 and 2nd chances obvs!)