There is a voice in my head which can’t be trusted.
In fact, it needs to be 100% ignored, and over time completely silenced.
It is a lying, sabotaging, foolish bastard of a voice. I f***ing hate it!
It is a voice that has always advocated for and encouraged my drinking alcohol.
It is a voice that has consistently undermined my attempts to get free.
Here are some of the things it has said to me:
- You can’t quit. You’ve tried it before and failed. Save yourself the bother of a pointless task.
- You don’t need to quit. Everyone drinks. It is totally OK.
- You can have just one, surely?
- You deserve it.
- Celebrate your sobriety with a well-earned drink.
- Prove you are free of this thing by having just one drink and stepping away again.
- You’ve done it! 7 days! Now you can go back to moderate drinking.
- It’s good for you.
- You’re overreacting.
- This is who you are, don’t fight it
- Life will be shit without it
- You will be boring without it.
- You need it. It’s essential. It’s very helpful.
- Don’t be told what to do by boring idiots.
- Such and such has just happened. You need a drink to get over it. Let’s pick up the sobriety thing tomorrow.
- You have an addictive personality; it’s only a matter of time. Might as well fold now.
This is the voice I have wrangled with for a long time.
It is responsible for the exhausting endless debate and negotiation which has dominated my thoughts, morning, noon and night, since the first moment I thought I might have a problem.
That chatter, clatter, cacophony that drones on and on until I finally buy into one of its lies and think that it is just easier to crack open that beer and buy myself some respite (But! At what a cost! Get back in your box Duncan!)
I am NOT listening to that voice any longer. I find that the best way to disengage from it is before it has even formed its first syllable, let alone been allowed to complete a whole sentence. I do not go there anymore.
The good news (I do love a bit of good news!), according to loads which has been written and reported online by my fellow sobrieters (new word), who are further down this fantastic road than I, is that this voice loses strength and power the longer it is not listened to. Eventually, it dwindles into a pathetic, weak, unconvincing, once-in-a-blue-moon, non-event which is almost unnoticed.
I am on day 8 and already I note a diminishment.
MORE GOOD NEWS:
There’s another voice inside too. It’s much quieter, so I have to really listen out for it. It’s a gentle and caring voice that has my best interests at heart. It is the voice of truth that reminds me that I am amazing, creative, strong, worthy, loved and massively talented and that I can do anything I set my mind to.
TOP TIPS for Today
Listen for the still quiet voice of truth. Believe it. Embrace it and be nourished and encouraged.
(The other voice can f**k the right off)