What I want often hurts me.

What I don’t like is usually good for me.

In my sober journey, I have had to engage with myself ‘wanting’ something and then overruling that desire in favour of a happier, healthier, and better choice.

A constantly recurring theme.

Alcohol is only one such example.

I crave, or at the very least am drawn towards, behaviour that will close down my life, whereas I struggle to embrace the elements which would draw me upwards to a better version of myself.

It’s so f**ked up.

Here are two lists:

Hard                                     –              Easy 

Sober                                –     Alcohol

Cold                                 –     Warm

Exercise                          –     Sofa & TV

Difficulties                    –     Easy life

Less money                 –     More money

Humility                       –     Egocentric

Less food                      –    Overeating

Green apple                  –    Chocolate

Generosity                     –    Selfishness

Loving & kind                 –    Mean

Forgiving               –    Grudge holding

Freedom                         –    Addiction

Bravery                            –    Cowardice

Active                               –    Laziness

Say NO to me        –      Say YES to me

The above are incomplete lists, and some items could be contentious.

In the main, the left column describes some attitudes, choices, and circumstances that ultimately lead me towards health, happiness, growth, freedom, and life in its fullness but require constant effort and application.

The right column shuts life down by killing off many of its potentially brilliant strands, and requires no effort. This route flows like a downhill stream and will be my life’s automated path unless I build dams and redirect it.

Has this duality struggle always been so?

Is its root to be found in the imperfect human condition?

Our modern age might have exacerbated things with its digital and industrial revolutions, no world wars, and consequently elevated levels of prosperity, which all play directly into the second column’s path.

Whatever the root cause, ignorance and blindness hold me prisoner to the second list, and herein lies my salvation.

Let there be light and understanding!

Awareness reveals.

Revelation offers me the opportunity to choose afresh and make a change. Build a dam or two.

I suddenly understand why I love walking and wild camping adventures in the wilderness! 

Epiphany moment. 

Many of the 1st column’s items are in play when I take my backpack and head out into the unknown wild landscape. 

Everything about a wild camp in a remote place involves sustained effort. 

And yet I always return elevated and looking forward to the next one.


Embrace the uncomfortable and mine its hidden resources for gifts

Love and peace

Me x